Hope you are happy (a message to my dog)

It’s been a while since I posted something. The reason is as sad as it can get. Not only because I haven’t got the time, but also because I didn’t wanted to connect with what was actually happening to me. Usually I don’t post about my life, but about schnauzer facts. This is different.

I was walking with some friends whIMG_0108en I saw a miniature schnauzer. She looked just like mine. As always, I ran after the dog. I started playing with this beautiful baby and talking to the owner. She told me stories so specific that I kept thinking how weird it was because most of them could apply to mine. The personality of Melany, the miniature schnauzer, was so similar if not exact to mine.  I am not a crier, but it took a lot of strength not to cry on the street holding Melany.

She was the reminder of my dog. I never got it of my chest, but my baby, Sexy, the one who started all this is no longer with me. I never cried. I don’t know if I repressed all my emotions or if I simply didn’t have any feelings.  The fear of collapsing and crying out of the blue was always there. It almost happened. Luckily the mother of Melany was extremely kind and listened to me. I got part of it off my chest.

I got back to my hometown and caught myself looking for my baby. It hit me I still needed closure. I realized part of my procrastination was a defense mechanism. It is hard looking at all the amazing photos you all send me and the stories and not being able to have any more of those with mine.IMG_9755

As a result I realized the only way is to actually talk about it with people that will understand and to stop repressing my emotions. Sadly enough, it took me some months and a desire of crying out of the blue in the middle of the street to finally see it. Sexy was not just a dog, she was my best friend and such a fighter. She taught me how to fight when no one would believe there is a chance for you to survive. I owe her more than I can ever pay and for all I will always be grateful.

(I hope you don’t mind me writing more about her.)

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Afellowschnauzerlover says:

    I haven’t gotten over my little schnauzer, cookie as well. She was the best thing that happened to me and she left me so suddenly. Up till today, I cry whenever I think about her. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. I don’t find a need to go and look for closure, because she is something I don’t need closure from. She changed my life in so many ways and I will continue to miss her as long as I live.

    1. Thank you for your kind words and support. You too are not alone. I am glad there is people likek you and me who understand that a dog is more than just a pet.

  2. emilyjoakins says:

    I lost my miniature schnauzer, Daisy, last month. I am so sad without her. I look for her everywhere even though I know she’s gone. Every inch of our house makes me think of her. She had cancer. We lost her much sooner than we expected. It helps me to know that others experience such deep pain. And somehow it helps me to look at pictures of other schnauzers. Even though I know they’ll never be my Daisy. Sending warm thoughts your way.

    1. Thank you so much for your support! I understand your feeling. It is horrible to lose someone you love that much. It helps me to know she will finaly never experience pain.

  3. Bonnie Park says:

    I lost my schnauzer Max to xiyitol , a natural sweetner we use in gum and baked goods. He ate half a cake a friend made with digital that I left on table, I left him loose forgetting about the cake not knowing xiyitol is poison to dogs, called vet they didn’t even know, he was 6, got to hold him until the end, he slept behind my head, miss him all the time, all schnauzer owners and lovers know what an amazing, smart, loyal companion they are.

    1. I feel your loss. There isn´t a day I dont remember my baby girl. How come your vet didn´t know? They are amazing and will forever live in our hearts.

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